Friday, December 31, 2010


Most people end the current year by resolving to do better, or differently in the coming year.  As I reflect on 2010, I'm compelled to write about how incredibly grateful I am for so many things.  So, even though this is too Oprah-esque for my liking, here's my 2010 gratitude list:

1.  My kids.  We welcomed Maren and Beckett into our lives in March, and have never looked back.  I don't think I can find words to describe my gratitude for 3 healthy, amazing, wonderful children.

2.  My husband.  As far as husbands go, I think I won the jackpot.  He's not only a wonderful man, but a suberb father.  And, he's handy.  And, geeky.  And, cute.  Thank you Brent for all that you are.

3.  My Mother.  Not many people would throw themselves into the pit like my Mom has done this year.  She has been my sidekick when Brent is away, and I could not have maintained my sanity without her.  She's amazing.  Definitely worthy of "Mom of the Year" award.

4. My Mother-in-Law.  It's comforting to know you've got back up, and my mother-in-law has covered for us many a time this year.  Thank you for being there.

5.  Yoga pants.  A bit funny, I know.  But, they got me through weeks 27-35 when pregnant with the twins, and will be my "attire" for this New Year's Eve.  Oh, how life has changed.

6.  The internet.  Ever wonder how you'd function without it?  It was my sanity while strapped to a bed and nursing pillow for many months.  Oh, and I won't even mention how much time I spent online while on bedrest.  A bit obscene, really.  But hey, I'm grateful it's around.

7.  Red wine.  I have 3 kids...enough said.

8.  Being a Canadian.  With all the turmoil in this world, I am forever grateful to live in this country, even if Stephen Harper is the sitting PM. 

9.  Good friends and good co-workers.  We are so blessed in this regard.  I love the clinic and the "Pillars" family so much.  Thank you all for being the amazing people that you are.  And, a special shout out to Jackie, who makes my work life so much easier.  You are one of a kind.

10.  Sushi.  Yes, it really does deserve its own special mention. 

Happy New Year!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

My new normal.

In February of this year, I posted this quote on my other blog:

"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day, I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return."

I wrote that post at the height of my anxiety, terrified of what life would be like with 3 kids under 3. I treasured every "normal" moment, almost wishing time to stand still as I waited for the twins to arrive.  Little did I know that just 12 days later they would arrive, ready or not.

Truth be told, there was nothing anyone could have said to prepare us for those first few weeks and months.  To wish for normalcy would have been to wish for the impossible. Time was measured in hours of lost sleep and a good day meant I didn't cry and managed a quick shower in between feeds.  I longed for our "easy" days of just having Maeve, when life was predicable and scheduled.

But, weeks turned into months, and before I knew it the twins were 6 months old and I was back to work.  That was the first taste of "normal".  It felt good to be back to work, just 2 days a week, with people I knew, doing a job I do well.  Six months also was a big turning point in the twins' sleep and schedule, meaning that I was no longer up every hour of every night, and daytime was becoming somewhat predictable.

And, now at 9 months - we have a new normal!  I was giddy when I realized this, just the other day.  We have normal again.  It's not the same, it never will be.  But, it's good, and comfortable, and I like it.  And, it's fun. Really fun.

Normal is getting up at 6 am, changing 2 diapers and getting breakfast ready for 3 kids.  Normal is feeding one baby while the other clambers all over you.  Normal is comforting two crying babies at once!  Normal is having two babies and one big kid get the giggles over silly things.

Our lives have been forever changed by these two souls, and we wouldn't have it any other way.  But, I am so glad that "normal" is now part of my vocabulary again.  Ahh...

And, in between the chaos we have moments like this: