Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Admitting Defeat.

So, about that 365 project....the one where I was going to take (and post) a picture every day?  Yeah, that didn't work out this year. I may try again next year, but if the last month is any indication of the kind of "crazy" that will rule my life, I'm not sure I'm up to that kind of committment.

So, with this post, I absolve myself of any guilt associated with my failure.  But that's not to say I won't be posting cute pictures, because that's a given.  

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Dear Beckett

Dearest Beckett:

Oh Beck, we have gone through so much in the past year.  It broke my heart not to have you with us after you were born.  But, we made the trek to the NICU every 2 hours until you came up to the room with us, 2 days later.  And then, we watched you and your sister in the phototherapy beds.  We worried about you, as you were the smallest, but you soon proved to be quite the fighter.

When you were born, we noticed the resemblance to Maeve, and wondered where your big, full kissable lips came from.  You quickly won the hearts of everyone in the NICU, and loved to snuggle with me in between feeds.

Like Maren, you loved to snuggle in bed.  But, unlike Maren, we had our struggles when it came to breastfeeding.  I'm sorry I didn't realize you had reflux sooner, I suspect we would have had a much easier go of things if I had. I felt so helpless as you screamed your little heart out.  I'm so sorry.

But, you were quick to show your fighting spirit.  You have always been quick to laugh, and love to make others laugh.  Your smile is infectious, and I know it will serve you well in life.  You are on a mission, and I have no doubt you will succeed. From the day you were born, you've been trying to walk.  Crawling came quickly, and you are now on the verge of walking.  And, just like everything you do, you don't mess around.  I can't wait to see what you do with your life.

You love your big sister, and try to follow her around like a puppy dog.  And, she, has always had a soft spot for her little brother.  Seeing the three of you together melts my heart.

You are our sweet, spirited, determined Mr. B.  And, you are my sweet little boy, please don't ever change.  I love you, Beckett.

Dear Maren

Dear Maren:

Today, you are one year old.  One year ago, I was recovering from your birth, running to the NICU to nurse your brother and trying to wrap my head around the fact that I now had 3 children.

When they first brought you to me, I noticed your dark hair, which we thought was curly, but, in fact, was just wet.  I was relieved to hear you were over 2500 grams and could stay with us.  I anxiously kissed your wrinkled forehead, glad to have you on the outside.  I urged your Dad to place you on his chest in recovery, after I'd nursed you for the first time.  I remember holding you to my chest, listening to you breathe, and watching you under the lights of your phototherapy bed. We thought you looked like my Dad, your late Papa George.  We kept commenting on how much of the Salib genes you'd gotten.

Once home, you became our oasis.  You would patiently wait to be fed, or changed, and loved to be held.  You thrived in a sling, and have spent many an hour being held.  You also loved to sleep next to me in bed.  From the time you were just a few weeks old, you would snuggle into my arm in the early hours of the morning.  You were a joy to nurse, and still are to this day, although I fear that part of your life is coming to and end.

And now, at one year old, you love to read books, and play peek-a-boo.  You love to eat, and have a special fondness for fruit, especially blueberries!  And, you love your big sister fiercely.  You light up when she comes into the room, and she adored you too.  

You are wise, and beautiful and I love you with all my heart.  I love your giggles, and squeals and can't wait to see the woman you will become.  I love you, sweet Maren.

And then there were three....

One year ago today, we welcomed Maren and Beckett into our family.  We made the jump from one child to three, and embarked on the crazy ride that would take us through life with twins.  I'd spent a lot of time worrying about what life would be like, how their arrival would change us, how it would affect Maeve, etc., but nothing could prepare me for the highs and the lows of the year to come.  I won't lie, the first few months were brutally hard.  In fact, I don't remember much from the first 3 months, other than that Beckett's colic almost drove me to insanity.  I can almost forget the hourly wakeups, or round the clock feedings.  And, I'm proud of how we all fared given the chaos that surrounded us.

But, when all is said and done, I am so glad they are here, and ours.  I can't imagine life without these sweet little souls in our life.

Here's a little retrospective of the past 365 days:

35 weeks 2 days.  Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Anxiously awaiting the walk to the OR.

Daddy and Maren in recovery.

Big sister Maeve and Beckett.

Maren and Beckett - 2 days old.  Reunited after Beckett's 2 day stint in the NICU.

My three loves.

Nanny and Maren.  The bond begins...

Wearing their "coming home outfits" at 2 months old.  Boy, was I naive.

Mr. B.

Pebbles and Bam Bam.

Sweet Maren, before she had hair.

Mr. B, practicing his charm.

Maeve, providing some much needed comic relief.

The dog days of summer....

Sweet, sweet baby doll.

Big sister, little brother.

Sweet boy.

Bedtime fun.


He gets sweeter every day...

All dressed up and nowhere to go...

Hurry up and take the picture, Mom.  I want candy!
The 5 of us.

Christmas jammie fun.

The last gummy grin!


Looking far too grown up...

Looking oh so cute.

Double trouble.

The sheriff is in town.
Beck loves PB and bananas.

Maren opening up her birthday gift.

Maeve helping Beckett open up his.