Once again, hindsight is 20/20.

A bit of an update on our "colicky" boy.

After eliminating dairy foods from my diet, there was an immediate improvement in his mood and temperament. The evenings were much, much better, he was less gassy and in a better mood overall. But, I'd have to cap the improvement at about 50%. What became increasingly clear is that something else was making him fussy at the breast.

Now, keep in mind, we'd been fighting (or so I thought) a bottle preference for 7 weeks, ever since he was discharged from the hospital after our bout with RSV. While in hospital, he received many bottles of pumped milk as he was too weak to nurse.

Beckett has never been a great eater. While Maren nurses with gusto, Beckett has always been a "just enough" kind of guy. But, something was changing over the past 2 weeks that was making me concerned. Colic aside, he was often fussy after eating, would latch on/off (again, thought this was bottle preference), preferred to be upright, and this week began losing weight. I started weighing him when I sensed his intake dropping off ( I was becoming engorged on his side, so he was definitely eating less), and sure enough, he was dropping 20 grams a day.

Needless to say, I was getting concerned. I'd been questioning the possibility of "silent reflux" for awhile, but really didn't want it to be true. But, after a nice consult with the Ped in my GP's office, she agreed that his symptoms warranted a trial of Zantac. As an naturopath, the idea of putting my 3 month old on an acid suppressing drug was very uncomfortable. What about iron, calcium and b12 absorption? How would it alter his gut flora? But, my baby was losing weight and was uncomfortable and that needed to be addressed.

He's only had 3 doses, and he's a changed baby. Colour me shocked. He's eating with gusto, and is nursing twice as often as he ever has. He drained his side tonight and took an additional 3 ounces from a bottle. It almost brought tears to my eyes to see him eat like that. Actually, it did. Twice. And, he was such a calm, happy baby today. Oh, and he put on 40 grams overnight. :)

And, now I have to reconcile the guilt of not having him seen and treated sooner. But, since his reflux was "silent" (he rarely spits up) it wasn't on my radar.

So, the colic (which was probably reflux) is on the way out, hopefully. I'll continue to avoid dairy for now, as it was obviously not agreeing with his sensitive gut, and will continue with probiotics as well. And, we'll obviously continue with the Zantac for now, and hope that he won't need it for long.

Insanity, thy name is colic.

In case you haven't heard, we're knee deep in colic with wee little Beckett. It started 5-6 weeks ago, and at first, we just thought he was going through a fussy period. Yeah...not so much. A fussy evening here and there turned into a fussy evening every night. One hour became two, which then became four or five. And then daytime started falling apart 2 weeks ago.

Sigh...I guess it was too much to ask for all 3 of my kids to be of the "easy" variety. Thankfully, Maren is a very easy baby, which makes living with a colicky baby bearable. But, 2 babies and a toddler ain't easy, that's for sure.

I must say though, it's given me a whole new appreciation for other parents who are going through the same thing. I now understand...

-Feeling so helpless as you watch your little baby scream his little heart out, for no apparent reason.
-Feeling like you're skin is crawling from listening to non-stop crying for hours on end.
-Wanting to run away, and seriously making a plan to do so.
-Feeling trapped, because you can't really make the above plan work.
-Wondering what you did wrong, and how to make it right.
-Feeling anxiety as bedtime approaches.
-Having feelings of anger towards this little person, who did nothing wrong.

My best friend, who is here visiting witnessed my meltdown 2 nights ago. It wasn't pretty, that's for sure. I hate the person I become after listening to 4 hours of a baby crying. Who wouldn't be driven to insanity?

Craziness, eh? I've made some big changes to my diet, and I hope to come back in a few days and say that we've "fixed" the problem. Yesterday and today have been good days, so here's to hoping.